Saving the daughter
She is sitting in her room staring at herself in the mirror. Staring at the unkempt hair and bloodshot eyes. Her eyes sunken with dark circles is what everyone can see plain as day. But she also sees what no one else can, chains. An absurd amount of chains tightly coiled around her body. There doesn’t appear to be one place where there is not some kind of chain binding and weighing her down.
She looks at the reflection that everyone and no one can see, crying silently for what must be the millionth time. The young woman turns away from the mirror too disgusted and crestfallen to look at herself any longer. She prepares for her day and lifts her eyes to the door, wondering if she even has the strength to walk out and face the world. Finally, she steels her ever wavering resolve and forces her body to obey her and walk out her door. Refusing to allow herself to look back at the reflection, see the chains and fall deeper into depression.
She watches life go by in a numbing sameness. Her job and friends never changing, all happy and content, which does nothing but further her ever darkening mood. “Why can’t I rid myself of these many weights? Why must I be so entrapped within myself?” she ponders this as she walks to the only place she can find some type of solace, the park.
She sits on the usual bench watching her surroundings. In one corner of the park she sees a child and mother playing a game of “Ring Around the Rosy” at the playground, laughing with such joyful abandon. The vibrant laughter fills the young woman’s ears and grates against that heavy heart.
She tries to escape that feeling and looks to her left, noticing a little boy. He and his dad are flying a kite in the windy autumn sky. The breeze making the red and green diamond flap around wildly as the many leaves that are falling from their trees and being swept away from the park to land on the browning grass somewhere. Fall is in the air as the two faces have joyful smiles and she can sense the peace in their beings. It even adorns their features, adding to the already bright faces. She finds herself laughing in self-mockery.
“You used to be like that, then you made that stupid mistake.” Her own voice states, making the already unbearable humiliation grow. Her eyes dart around frantically, she knows that everyone can see her chains. As they tie her down more as the panic grows. The young woman knows that the others gathered are staring at her in contempt, they surely know what she did. She looks around and being unable to face her fear of shame, she flees the park to go and hide within her own walls, the walls of her apartment and prison.
When she is safely within the four small walls, she throws the purse on the table and flops onto the couch. Head in hands she tries once again to be rid of this never ending shame. The young woman does everything, she points to the obvious answer saying that it was not her fault, that she had no choice. But none of that was true. And she knows this. “But how can I admit that and still be drowning in self-loathing, shame, and depression?” she thinks as her head pounds from the swirling thoughts and emotions.
“Because you have yet to believe me my child.” Surprised, she whips her head up to that voice. She knew it too well. Her Father was here. The young woman hides further into the couch, “How could he be here? He shouldn’t see me like this.” She knew for a fact that he could see everything. And this just made her heart ache even more because she knew she had failed him. Listening to the footsteps draw closer to her, she tries not to burst into tears then and there.
“My daughter why do you hide yourself from me?” He asks. Daring to look up, she lifts her head until she is staring into his eyes. The young woman does not see what she expected. No reproach, no disapproval. Only love and sadness. Unable to hold it together anymore she releases her emotions and weeps freely.
“Father I do not understand what happened. I tried so hard to be good and please you. But I failed.” At these words she cries harder, realizing that she had majorly messed up. Her Father looks at her with sad eyes and places a comforting hand on her shoulder. Then with a gentle tug of His finger under her chin, he raises her eyes to his.
“My daughter,” Her Father’s eyes are filled with sorrow for her and the young woman stares in disbelief at him. “Will you not trust me? Have I not forgiven you in the past?” She nods her head. He had always forgiven her when she made a complete mess of life.
“Then will you simply let me do that now? Will you let go of these bonds that are only there because you have created them yourself?” She does not understand and stares blankly.
“How had I made these chains?”
“You made them by allowing your grief, shame, and depression rule your life instead of allowing the love I placed within you to fill you up.” He grips one of the chains with his strong hands and with a soft tug they fall away and disappear. The young woman looks down at her now free body then back up at her Father and beams brightly at him. He had freed her from her own stupidity once more. Being unable to contain her relief and joy, she throws herself into his outstretched arms. Tears spilling from her eyes and down her cheeks.
“Thank you Dad. I should’ve remembered that you love me no matter what.” She whispers into his shirt. He holds his precious daughter even tighter and knows that this small gesture was enough to fill that aching and bleeding heart with joy and peace. Even though she felt as if she had lost that long ago.
“My beautiful daughter,” He pushes her just far enough away so that He can look directly into those beautiful eyes. “You always are free in Me, I gave you life and I will never leave you. Even if you don’t get things right all the time. I am here for you always. Your tears are mine, your joy is my joy, and your heart is held in my palm. I only want the best for you.”
He watches as his daughter cries again as his words reach all the way down into her core and resonate throughout her being. She had been too caught up in her own mistake that she had let it rule the life. She had given in to the pain and even pushed her friends and family away because she was so sure that if they saw her mistake they would leave and abandon her. He knew He needed to come and save her, He could no longer watch her destroy herself.
Now as the young woman looked upon her Father’s loving gaze she knew that she would always have someone to turn to. No matter what, even if her friends didn’t understand, her Dad always would. “I love you Daddy.” She says. Once again clinging to him, tightly.
He holds his precious daughter for a few more minutes and then wipes the tears away. They did not need to be there anymore. He pulls out of the embrace and kisses His child’s forehead in His loving way, which he knew that it made her heart soar in joy.
“I love you my daughter. Never forget that. Now I must depart, for I have much that I need to do.”
“Alright Dad, thank you again for freeing me from those chains and reminding me that I always have you to turn to.”
“Of course my princess. Call on me should you need me.” He says to her. Then as always, she watches Him walk out her door, knowing that once He is out the door He is gone, off to work. But as always she holds fast His words and love. Even if she forgot on occasion. She knew He would always remind her. He would free her from whatever chains that hold her down.